The Negligence of a Mother, Its Remedy.


So I was reading a publication by a local newspaper about a twelve year old girl who was impregnated by four men! This really caught my attention, so i read further asking myself how possible it was. As i fed my curiosity with the information on my hand, I got to know how it happened. The young girl in question repeatedly got raped by these four men for months! Wow!!! So horrible! Those who interviewed the victim asked her why didn’t she tell her Mum (her father is late). Her response shattered me. Here is what she said, “I didn’t tell my Mum because she has warned me that if any man should touch me, she’ll disown me and make me pack out from the house. I have no where to go to so I couldn’t tell her”.(It was later written that the victim’s mum corroborated her reply).
This got me thinking, I had to ask myself two questions:
1. What was the girl’s crime?
2. Do some mothers really know the implication of motherhood?
I also found myself answering them. The girl committed no crime, the four beasts saw her as a sex object. She is another victim of rape and ill human treatment. How can four men who claim to be her neighbours, whom she must have trusted so much, defile her over and over for months??? Its despicable! She was so incapacitated cos the very person she should have trusted the most blocked accessibility, her mother!
I got so angry within myself, here in this world are some women desperately looking for children to call their own while those that already have can’t protect and care for theirs. Such an abuse of responsibility. The girl’s mother in question is a petty trader who obviously doesn’t have time for her daughter cos from the story, it was even a neighbour that drew the Mum’s attention that there was something wrong with her daughter. Thereafter, she went to find out only to hear from the doctors that her daughter is 6 months pregnant! Then it was like the scales fell off her eyes and she sprung into action, called the policemen to arrest the men (although one escaped).
Her Mum’s actions was too late for me. The deed has already been done. Its not just about the pregnancy but the trauma the 12 year old was subjected to. At a young age she is ladened with such huge responsibility. She isn’t ready for this experience medically, physically and psychologically. It was written in the story that she wants to go back to school and play with her friends. You can see she is not in anyway psychologically ready. Her life will never remain the same again. It will only take the Grace of God to get her on her feet.
We all as mothers and potential mothers need to know God’s way of training a child, its not just about reproduction. Nothing should take the place of family. Our daughters should be our friends who can trust us and be able to tell us everything that happens in their lives. Mothers in turn need to gain enough knowledge on the physiological, social, spiritual, psychological and intellectual change that occur in their kids as they grow. We need to be their mentors, heroines, educating them on the challenges of life. Guiding, teaching and praying for them.
We need the Wisdom of God as women to build our homes and train godly children. If we lack wisdom, we can always ask God who will give it to us generously(James 1:5 ; Proverbs 24:3-4). When we train up our children in the God kind of way, they won’t depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).
Although the mother of the victim loves and care for her child her modus operandi was wrong. Never threaten to disown your kids no matter what they do. Rather look for ways to make them let you in on what happens in their lives so that you can teach, pray and guide them. So back to the story, the case is in now in the court. The suspects have been arraigned while they wait for the girl to put to bed. A DNA test will be conducted to determine who the father of the child is. Such a wicked world!
A word to all of us who make up the society. A child is not for the mother alone to train. We all have a part to play in their upbringing. We need to be sensitive to our environment, if we notice wicked acts like this please we shouldn’t hesitate to alert the relevant authorities or the victim’s relatives. Live and Stay Beautiful! 


Strife, The Blessing Blocker.


Have you ever had this “not so happy feeling” when your neighbour, your friend, or whoever you know got something you so desire to have but you don’t have? When everybody around is celebrating one blessing or another but in your life there is nothing worth celebrating, then this feeling of anger and resentment engulfs you?
My friend, you need not pretend, at one time in our lives we all have had such feelings. It is what you do with these feelings afterwards that really matter. These feelings come to us naturally and innocently but nipping it in the bud on time will avert lots of problems in the long run. The feelings of anger, envy and resentment are not good for healthy living. The best way to conquer them is to do the opposite when they come to us, doing the opposite entails making up your mind to be genuinely happy for the successes of others while thanking and believing God for yours. Never allow such feelings creep into your heart to stay.
When these feelings aren’t handled well it leads to Strife. Strife means rivalry or contention, especially of a bitter kind. God emphatically tells us in the scriptures to always avoid strife and also to never be carriers of strife,  He in fact abhors it (Proverbs 6:19 NASB). If God Almighty hates strife then we should desist from it cos strife blocks His Blessings in our lives. Strife is a terrible thing to indulge in, always seek to please God. If someone hurts you by his/her actions, go and politely let the person know. Do not go about slandering or causing dissension among people.
We all need to live peaceful lives and it starts from our hearts. ‘Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another…If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at Peace with everyone’ (Romans 12:14-18 NIV). LIVE AND STAY BEAUTIFUL!

Be Your Best Cheerleader!

Often times,we humans are so strict on ourselves. We have tendencies of hating our very selves. Just as we are our own worst critics let’s also be our best cheer leaders. So relax and create a balance. Always be your own best friend. The worst thing you can do is not loving yourself. Focus on your strengths and strive to work on your weaknesses. Yea, we all aren’t perfect but you’ve got to stand out. Never allow people’s opinion of you become your reality. Be you!It is who you define yourself to be that people will eventually come to accept and respect. Don’t end up being people’s shadows or a shadow of yourself. So dude, give yourself a break!
Come out in the light cos you are the light of the World. This is your set time to shine. Build your confidence by speaking great positive words to yourself such as: I am Beautiful, I am the Best, I am Fearfully and Wonderfully made, I am intelligent etc. In less time, you’ll see yourself acting it, feeling it, and finally being it.
Your words are seeds that are sown into your life. Never sow negative seeds, keep speaking positively. Even when you make a mess of things, acknowledge you are wrong, genuinely ask for forgiveness and move on. Never dwell in your setbacks. We know a Victor,not by how successful he is, but how he rose up after he failed.
Nobody said you won’t make mistakes. Infact, mistakes are part of the growing process. One can’t do without it. Without mistakes we all won’t be able to learn and grow. Your ability to learn fast and move on will determine how high you’ll rise above the propensity of making such mistakes again. So arise and get to work cos there is no time to say, “No Time”. Lolz.
Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom. LIVE AND STAY BEAUTIFUL!